Bi male female web chat
And yet, the basic tools given to you by most dating sites don’t leave much room for personalization.
Most sites allow you to choose between only two genders, male and female.
But we had pleasant enough conversation, and got along.
Our mutually neutral reaction to one another must’ve had some promise, as we planned to go on another date the following weekend.
And, while I felt no need to explain myself, I replied.“My status as a trans person is my personal business, and I feel no need to have to explain it to strangers. Secondly, if you think sex is purely genital-to-genital, I feel sorry for you!
I was waiting until we had gotten to know each other better.”Then she pulled out “the big guns,” or perhaps I should say “gun.”“Well, I like sex! ”Some of you may find this shocking, but sadly, this kind of gender (and genitalia) policing happens to many transgender people who simply want to go out, have a fun time and meet people.
We’d just met and were feeling out the situation and our interest in one another, the same way any two people do after a first date.
But obviously, the woman felt duped in some way, and she continued with her tirade.“You tricked me,” she said. Now I really felt the need to explain myself.“Firstly, you are making assumptions about what I have or don’t have in my pants, which is none of your business, just as I would not ask you if you have a vagina.
Since I identify as a trans male, and my sexual preference is for females, I have been left with only one option in the online dating world: heterosexual.However, as I write this, it seems the tides may be turning in my favor.Just weeks ago, I received a message from a local woman on the dating site where I had revealed my trans status.After this notable dating disaster, I went on other dates that didn’t go as badly; but quite honestly, many people are not as open-minded as they’d like to believe.I recall planning a couple of potential dates in which the person explicitly acknowledged being comfortable about meeting a trans person, and then would politely back out before the date even happened.
Perhaps this was out of a desire to meet and connect with people in the queer community; perhaps it was because I wasn’t totally comfortable identifying as heterosexual, despite the fact that I was a man and was attracted to women.